So it's Like Snowing.. And Stuff

Like the teenage title?? Yeah it's like cool, huh??

That's not actually how I talk, ya know..

So let's start from the beginning: It is currently 10:41 am and it has been snowing since 6. I am in a cold, white, wet heaven. I have been waiting for a snow like this all year. It's like 3 inches deep in the deepest spots. I'm really excited because it hasn't stopped snowing at all since I woke up this morning at 6. But I said that :P So even now as it approached noon, the sun hasn't burned off the clouds and it's still going strong. Well the flakes are small, but it's steady. Sometimes getting bigger and faster and heavier, but steady! lol

So this is basically how my morning went down:

6 am, my lovely dog, Dan, is my alarm clock. At this time he demands to be let out so that he can pee to his hearts content. If I don't get up and let him out, he pees on my stuff. So I let him out. But this morning was a little different because I was up so late last night. I was rolling around, trying to ignore his insistent whining. But when I saw the little bit of white through my window, where my blinds had slipped away, I was up in a flash. I let him out and stayed up all morning, not going back to sleep like I normally would, watching it snow. I woke up my friends up with a text that exclaimed, "Snowsnowsnowsnowsnow!" Except for some of them, who, for some strange, bizarre reason, where already awake.

Yeah... I was pretty much excited...

A little before 8, the sun started peeking through the clouds. I basically went berserk. This happened earlier this year: It snowed, getting our hopes up, but the stupid sun came out and melted it all before 9. I basically pummeled the sun back behind the clouds where it's stayed ever since. Even now, as it's 11:16 now, (hey I have other stuff going on besides writing on this blog) it's still there. Although the snow has stopped :( Praying it starts back up again.

Still praying as I have been all morning, for the sun to stay hidden and for it to snow. Come back snow come back!

Other then that... It's been school. A little writing, as I'm deftly trudging through this story I'm writing. It's a little harder to write since I'm using a different writing style, but I'm making it. I have people nit picking it for me. Everything, down to my word choice, is being critiqued. And I'm only like 6 pages in.

And I'm still struggling with not getting to talk to Cassandra all the time. To go from talking nonstop 24-7 to only being able to talk for a few hours in the late afternoon to early evening is about killing me. I feel alone now :/ I go to talk to somebody and she's not there. I know there are other people to talk to and I do talk to them, I love my other friends, but everyone of them is different and they hold me up in different ways and areas and one of those supports was just ripped away. It's a little hard.

I know, I'm being totally selfish. And I would go back over the whole "smile because it's going to get better" thing, but I think Cassandra would pummel me if I forced that down her throat again lol. Just now I miss you and love you, girl!

11:23 it's snowing again!

The praying worked!

So I think that's it... Well, considering I'm doing other things as I type this periodically, I could probably keep you up to date if it's snowing or not all day, but I think I'm going to make myself stop and let you go(:

Don't frown because you never know who's falling in love with your smile...(:
~Jessica

OH! And Happy Leap Year! Can't believe I forgot that lol

Just Another Step in the Process

What a week.

And it's only Tuesday!

One of my best friends left the school I go to and it's definitely sad :( Ms. Cassandra Bloom I do miss you lots! I miss not talk to you all day every day! I hate that I can't go to you with all my problems now! I hate that your shoulder is no longer there for me to lean on!

But I know this all totally selfish, even more so because it's more hard on you then me--I mean you're the one switching schools, but it's true: I do miss you tons! Especially since we only had one day to say good bye :( At least we still have texting and email...

We have to keep looking on the bright side, right? I mean, it's a new school, a new beginning! It's a place full of adventures just waiting to be had. And girl you're the one to have them! That place is yours for the taking! So go in there and show 'em what you're made of! Just because you're the 'new girl' doesn't mean you have to act like the one! Own it. Live it. Love it.

The world is your oyster... You're foot stool... It's yours for the taking! So take it, take it run! Have fun with it! Don't let anyone hold you back! Love everyone and love yourself, love the life you live and live it like Jesus! Don't get upset or angry just because things aren't working out like you plan. Smell the roses on the detour! You're still getting where you want to get ;)

Sit next to the person alone at lunch, be kind to everyone, be yourself--because, let's face it, you're amazing--and you might just save someone. There are like seven billion people in the world, never let one ruin your day. God made you an original, don't die a copy!

One last thing: It's your life, don't let someone else live it.

Have fun and be yourself(:

And all us at Connections still love you lots no matter what school you go to(:
~Jessica <3

Drum Roll Please!

I finally got to meet the beautiful Cassandra Bloom!! Yaaay! I know, it was actually on friday but hey I've been busy! :P We basically hung out at BK for a while, 'twas fun! I doodled, as much as I can doodle because - let's face it - I'm a terrible artist :P, on her paper thing and she for some reason decided she wanted to put it on her wall.. o.O Lol I don't know if she did or not, but it does have reminders on it for her to keep writing so yeah lol

I'm so happy I met her through some random connection of friends that I found through some random places that I honestly can't remember because some of the friendships just came together becuase of... Well I can't really remember... Lol but I'm so happy that the random connections of friends occurred becuase she moi amazing! And super duper beautiful!! Don't let her tell you that she is not beautiful becuase she totally is!! Way prettier then me!! Don't let her believe anything else!! ;)

I'm so happy she's one of my super duper amazing besties ^.^

Let's see, what else happened this busy weekend... Well, since Friday, I've looked at three different breeder's baby piggies, I'm going to be getting a few next months. In the beginning of March I get lambs and well I already have my horses lol. Saturday I spent the day in animal classes, learning over and over again things I already knew. And Sunday was more animal stuff and chuuurch! I love my youth group ^.^

It was pretty much an exhausting weekend. But I did get to start a new story!

So what's new... Hmm...

Well, tomorrow, friday, I am getting to meet one my bestests friends, for the first time in real life! Don't worry, I know she's not a perv :P Where we met, it's impossible to lie about your age. Also, I know people who have met her in real life. So exciting!! Can't wait!

She also might get to spent a few days, maybe a week o.O, at my house this summer, so yay! I am so excited!!

... She Died ...

There's a girl.

Her name was Ashley.

She was my age.

She died.

Two days ago.

At a party.

Trying to get a high.

From sniffing compressed air.

It's a little unreal.

I knew her.

Not really, but a little.

Mostly through my friend's Facebooks.

Talking on their statuses and crap.

It's hard to think that she's dead.

Mostly that someone my age is really gone from this world. It happens all the time, I know, all over the world. But when it's someone who lives 20 minutes from you?? This crap just got real.

Everyone is wearing purple for her today. They're making shirts and posting on her Facebook wall. It's so hard to see them all so sad for her. They're my friends and it hurts to know that they're hurting.

It's hard to see what everyone is saying about her. They all loved her, but did she know it?? They're all saying it now, but it's a little late don't you think?? I guess I'm a little ticked, too.

No, not at them for not saying it earlier. No, not at God for taking her. But at myself.

Yeah, I'm pretty much mad at myself.

She wasn't a Christian. That much was obvious. We didn't talk religion on statuses, but she wasn't living for God, that's for sure. I could've been there to talk to her about it. I could've shown her God's love. But I didn't. I did not go out of my way to make sure she knew about Him. Why did I do that??

I wasn't her friend. I wasn't close to her. She had other people around her who knew God, why did I have to be the one to witness?? But I should've. I should have made sure she knew. But now she's dead and it's too late for ANY of that.

It's too late.

Everyone is saying that she'll live on in their hearts. That's true. They say they'll see her in Heaven. But I don't know if that's true! That's just it! What if they don't see her there?? What if she never knew?? What if she wasn't able to give her life to Him?? What if she never knew??

She died in a hospital bed because of a bubble in her brain.

Doctors and nurses were the only people around here.

In her last moments, I wonder what she thought...

Bored...Read This!

The Prologue to the story I'm currently working on(:

Prologue

The man was terrifying, tall and strong and the best warrior you’d ever seen. He swung his sword around and around and it clashed with the other man’s. Sparks flew, metal clanged, swear words flew through the air quick as the swords. Their grace was deadly, the way they swung their swords, the way their feet stepped so precisely. The two men danced a dark, deadly dance around the hall.

From the door, a woman watched. She was strikingly beautiful, noble with full auburn hair. Her distinguished features were clouded with concern as she watched the two men battle. This is what she had feared. She knew how this had to end. She did not fear that ending for herself, but she feared for those around her.

She swept away from the door, running quickly down the stone hall. She pulled up her silk skirts, freeing her movement. As she ran down the halls, she saw some servants hiding behind curtains and under tables. Most of them had run, though, when the horrible man had arrived. The poor cowards, she thought sourly.

She found who she was looking for in a room not far from the hall. A young girl, only sixteen, was huddled in the corner. She was terrified, but wasn’t everyone?

“We don’t have much time, you have to leave,” The woman said, pulling the girl to her feet. She looked the girl over and, with a rueful smile, gave her one last hug. “You must go now.”

“I won’t leave you.” Even though the girl’s eyes were full of fear, she stood tall and defiantly. She’s so brave, thought the woman proudly.

“You have everything that I gave you packed, correct?” She asked.

“Yes ma’am, but—“

“No, do not speak. You have to leave now, time is short.” Her voice was becoming frenzied. There was yelling now, she could hear it. The battle was louder then ever. There was less time then she had hoped for. She knows everything, she is prepared enough, the woman told herself. Stop worrying.

“No, I won’t. I’ll stay with you.”

“We don’t have time for this.” The woman grabbed the girl’s arm and dragged her through the corridors. As they ran up to the hall’s door, the girl pulled her arm free as she saw the two men fighting. Her eyes were wide as she was one man fall, the terrifying man raised his sword and brought in down in one final, lethal swing, it hit the man in the gut. He went limp, gasping for air. He would not survive.

The girl cried out and the man looked towards them.

“Well, well, the little bird hasn’t flown away after all,” He said, his sinister voice mocking her. He began to advance to the two women standing in the door. The older woman jumped in front of the girl. There were tears in her eyes, but she stood tall.

“Leave us, Carlen, and never come back,” She said defiantly.

“I don’t think I will…” He smiled devilishly. He pointed his sword at the woman, out of nowhere she reached into her skirts and pulled out a long slender sword. The two swords collided. The girl slipped out of behind the woman and ran towards the dieing man. She knelt beside him.

“No, no,” She whispered, holding his head in her lap.

“We… We knew this day would come,” He said, coughing up blood. His voice was hoarse and full of pain; he shook with every word.

“You’ll live, it’ll all be okay,” The girl ripped her dress and pressed the fabric to the wound, her voice was cracking and tears fill her eyes. She refused to believe it, but she knew that the man would die.

He pushed the cloth away. “No, it’s too late… You know everything you need to. You can save everyone else. You are a brave girl, you can do it.”

“I need you,” She whispered.

“No, you don’t. I… I am going to die. You will have to do it by yourself.”

“I don’t want to.”

“You have to. You are brave and smart that is all you need; do not let anything stop you. You have to stop him… I love you.” He closed his eyes and took one last shaking breath.

“No… No…” The girl whispered. Behind her, there was a scream, she turned around and saw the woman on the ground, unconscious. The man turned towards her, smiling that horrible smile again. The girl gently pushed the man’s head off her lap and stood up tall.

“You certainly are a pretty one,” He said.

“How could do this?” She said, tears flowing down her cheeks, her voice cracking. “How could kill in cold blood like this?”

He walked towards her, smiling evilly. “It’s quite easy, really.” She began to back up, seeing his intent. She looked desperately around, there was no way out. All the servants had fled or were too cowardly to come; the guards were dead or captured, there was no one.

“No… Please… No…” She whispered quietly. He had reached her now. She was breathing heavily, back up against a table; he pressed himself up against her. She turned her face away. He smelled foul, his ugly face leering at her, he was chuckling under his breath. “No…” He took the hilt of his sword and hit her over the head.

She slid to the ground, slowing feeling her consciousness slipping away. She tried so hard to hang onto a thread of awareness, but it was so hard, slipping away so fast. She watched the man walk over to the woman and grab her.

Then everything went black.

What if...!

What if there was more?
What if living wasn't so painful?
What if you aren't actually living
The life you are supposed?
What if none of us really know?
What if the world just imploded?
And we were all forced to live on the inside
Stuck with each other, would we survive?
There'd be no room to get away
It's like being stuck alone but together
With everyone you've ever known
Never known, ever will know
All at once, you're there together
And you can't get away
Could you keep a secret?
Doubt it, there'd always be someone
Watching you, because, seriously
The world imploded
They'd be all chasing you
Wanting to be you, they'd freaking love you
Or they'd really hate you
Because, seriously, the world imploded!
You should be dead but you survive
I'd love everyone of those peoples
They'd all be survivors, so would you

You're a surivivor

Thank God you lived!
But what if you didn't?
What if you died when the world imploded?
What if you never thought about death?
Until it was knocking on your door..
What if you never knew?
What if you could never bring yourself
To think about anything more then tomorrow
What if you got confused?
What if you were wrong?
What if you you didn't know anything?
What if no one told you?

What if the freaking world imploded?

^^ Welcome to my head -.-

Writing.. So Tempting

You know how I said writing was my like largest passion ever?? No, you probably don't. You're probably cruising blogs and just came across this one and start reading this. That's what I do, start at the top and work my way down, which can get very confusing!

Right, back to the point, to just fill in a little bit for those who missed my first ever blog... I love writing with almost all my heart. Photography, horses, God, family and friends fill in the rest of it. So, I was just kind of cruising through some writer's blogs and Facebooks and it only ever gets me more inspired! Hearing directly from these writers I love... it's insane!!

You have no idea how spychotic I am when it comes to writing. No idea.

I am seriously a psycho about writing. Most people go back to sleep when a dream wakes them up at 2 am, but I stay up until 6 writing all about that dream. It's a wondrous, glorious, amazingly awesome feeling(: Until I realize that it's 6 and I try to get an hour of sleep but oversleep by two. Yeah... That part isn't too fun...

Right, back to the point, it's so inspiring to read these people's blogs and Facebooks! It makes me want to write all the more! Working hard on a new story now, it's..intriguing not so sure what Ms. Cassandra thinks about it :P She needs to go into more detail *hint hint to Ms. Cassandra*

So that's where I'll be(:

Ciao

A tid bit that's actually going on in my life....

Snow snow snow snow snow snow snooooowwww snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow! Glorious snow!!
And it all melted.. :(

Oh yeah and happy Valentines day!

Too Bored to do Homework

I am too bored to do my homework, so I will blog instead(:

I'm going to try to not talk about my homework, but I'll probably end up back there anyway. So don't be suprised if I somehow find myself back at scientific notation and augemented matrices. Which I really don't understand. Well, I get the scientific notation, but not the matrices.

I was just writing and made a mistake and went back and corrected it. You wouldn't have known that unless I just told you - which I did - but you want to know why? Because I corrected it. I do that a lot, correct as I go, people tell me that's bad but I didn't give a darn. I will do what I please and not be conformed by society.

I read my blog from earlier today and saw that I made a lot of spelling and grammarical mistake, you're going to have to forgive me for that one. That blog just goes to show you how carried away I can get when I'm typing something I'm really excited about. Sometimes I'm just so happy I make all kinds of mistakes, not just typing but in life. I don't think about what I say and someone gets hurt, and then I'm not happy anymore.

:(

My foot is asleep and it is painful. It's in that stage where it still feels asleep but I can actually feel it, so it's like pulsing. It kind of hurts. Actually it does hurt. Pretty bad. Oh gosh, oh gosh, the pins and needles! Owwww!!!

There's an online game I play, it's called Howrse (yeah, remember I told you I'm pretty much way into horses), there's an admin on game named Ow. And another named HOwler and BOwler, that's because it's an Owlient game. They are way into the "Ow" thing, that's why it's HOwrse. Yeah, I just pronounce it like horse. You probably did too when you were reading it in your head.

When you think, do you think in your own voice?? I do. I can think in like a man's voice for a little while, but it sounds like my fake man voice. It sounds like a mini-me is sitting up in my head and talking to me in there, which I know it isn't. It's actually just your brain, with a whole bunch of air around it. That's creepy to think about, huh? I bet you visualized it and now you're either cringing or smiling goofily.

Actually, you're probably just staring at the screen with a blank expression.

I bet that last one is right, huh? That's something you need to know about me, I'm really good at guessing things.

(I'm really not)

Can you tell I'm rambling?? I do this a lot in my head. One topic leads to another , so welcome to my head. This is how I think. I bet if you're a girl, you're following this pretty well, but if you're a guy, you might be lost in how I connected all these things. If you've actually read this far. Which you probably haven't.

You have??

You must have no life. Or be very bored. I'll just assume the latter to save you the public humiliation of me telling you that you have no life. And whatever I say is right. I am always right. Even when I am wrong, I am right. What an oxymoron.

For those of you who don't know the meaning of oxymoron, do not panic. I did not tell you that you are a moron, nor did I tell you that you have no life. I did neither of those. Don't worry. An oxymoron is... Well it's too hard to explain and requires thinking, which I don't feel like doing.

Homework requires thinking, except for English homework, and I hate homework. Especially Algebra. I really hate algebra. Especially augmented matrices. I really hate augmented matrices. Scientific notation isn't terrible, but dealing with negative exponents is plain out annoying and takes forever.

Goodness, how did I end up back at homework?? :O Oh wait, I totally called that one.

I must let you get back to... Well, doing whatever you were doing. You may be busy browsing blogs or having no life or fighting invisible ninjas. Maybe having dinner with Chuck Norris and a drink with Jackie Chan afterwards?? Well, I don't really care at this point - Wait are you still reading?? Wow - I have augemented matrices to simplify.

Adios amigos.

Why Do I Have This Blog??

There is one person who reads the blog, trust me, I know this. So why am I talking like I'm making a speech or something?? I could just post this on my Facebook so why do I continue to do this?

I guess there are just somethings you need to scream and yell but you don't want anyone to hear, so you need to scream it an a silent place. This would be my silent place. Someday when I become famous, my blog (who knows I might stop this one and start another one) may just light up like a flare and then I'll probably start another one with a fake name where I can just blow up at the world or rattle on about things, sort of like I'm doing now.

Have you ever had those instances where you needed to scream at the world in a quiet place?? Those moments of such passion, where you are so inspired by anger or joy or sadness or just anything but you don't know what to do with it??

Like when you see a flower blooming or hear a song that just hits your heart or you go out and realize just how freaking beautiful the world is?? When you find out what love truly is and you finally understand, when you meet someone knew, when you talk to that one person and you just wish you could tell them how you feel.

Gosh, I love passion.

Good and bad, it can be, but it's so inspiring it drives me crazy!!

Valentines.

"Will you be my Valentine?"

No, I won't, I'm already my bestie's Valentine((: No I am not a lesbian, we are just friends lol and decided to be each other's Valentines. More people do it then you probably think.

Anyhoo, to the point of this post.

Valentines is actually pretty pointless in a good relationship. Shouldn't a guy randomly surprise his girlfriend with flowers and chocolates and a romantic dinner or picnik or anything anyway?? I mean, really, I'd rather be spontaneously surprised with something then expect it to happen one day out of the year. And if a guy is only taking his girlfriend out for a nice dinner or getting her little things on that one day, then he seriously needs to step it up.

But girls, you are not completely out of this. You should not expect your boyfriend to take you out to the most expensive and romantic restraunt just because it's Valentines day! Did you ever think that he has to pay for gas and electric bills and food and cell phone bills and all your other dates and every gift he gets you and every neccessity of life?? Most guys don't have $200 to go blow on an expensive dinner.

All in all, it might be nice to do something nice for Valentines, but really you should be doing nice things for each other all year round. Guys should not just get things for his girl on Valentines, and girls should not expect everything on Valentines. It's just another day. "Some people call it Valentines Day, I call it Tuesday."

Have fun(:

Beginning is for Suckers... So Now I'm a Sucker

You read it right, I freely admit that I am a sucker.

Oh yeah, big time sucker right here!

Yeah, yeah, make fun and laugh all you want, but someday you're going to be called a sucker and you'll have nothing to disprove it. You will be a sucker and you will not be able to do one thing about it except wallow in your misery. Hints the reason I freely admit I am a sucker!

Boo and add a ya.

Right, back to the point.

I am sarcastic and I am not afraid to tell you what I think. Like I just told you that someday you'll be a sucker, yeah right up there, seriously I'm not afriad to tell you.

Beyond that, I am a future best-selling fiction author. Yes, you are reading the blog of a future best selling author, be proud, you probably found it before I got famous ^.^ No, seriously, writing is my dream. It, along with horses, is my passion.

Yeah, I know horsies! Pretty horsies! Sounds like I'm five, right? Well, I'm not. Most of the time. I've been riding horses since I was five, though, and I seriously ride. I gymkhana and show western, although looking into english, so you know those people you see who run patterns insanely fast and their horses are like freaking out and stuff?? Yeah, that's me.

So besides the fact that I love God, my country, my friends and my family, that's really all you need to know about me.

Have fun dearies!