... She Died ...

There's a girl.

Her name was Ashley.

She was my age.

She died.

Two days ago.

At a party.

Trying to get a high.

From sniffing compressed air.

It's a little unreal.

I knew her.

Not really, but a little.

Mostly through my friend's Facebooks.

Talking on their statuses and crap.

It's hard to think that she's dead.

Mostly that someone my age is really gone from this world. It happens all the time, I know, all over the world. But when it's someone who lives 20 minutes from you?? This crap just got real.

Everyone is wearing purple for her today. They're making shirts and posting on her Facebook wall. It's so hard to see them all so sad for her. They're my friends and it hurts to know that they're hurting.

It's hard to see what everyone is saying about her. They all loved her, but did she know it?? They're all saying it now, but it's a little late don't you think?? I guess I'm a little ticked, too.

No, not at them for not saying it earlier. No, not at God for taking her. But at myself.

Yeah, I'm pretty much mad at myself.

She wasn't a Christian. That much was obvious. We didn't talk religion on statuses, but she wasn't living for God, that's for sure. I could've been there to talk to her about it. I could've shown her God's love. But I didn't. I did not go out of my way to make sure she knew about Him. Why did I do that??

I wasn't her friend. I wasn't close to her. She had other people around her who knew God, why did I have to be the one to witness?? But I should've. I should have made sure she knew. But now she's dead and it's too late for ANY of that.

It's too late.

Everyone is saying that she'll live on in their hearts. That's true. They say they'll see her in Heaven. But I don't know if that's true! That's just it! What if they don't see her there?? What if she never knew?? What if she wasn't able to give her life to Him?? What if she never knew??

She died in a hospital bed because of a bubble in her brain.

Doctors and nurses were the only people around here.

In her last moments, I wonder what she thought...