Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey!! Wanna Read It?!

Are you an evil villain?! I'm an evil villain! MUAHAHAHA!!

Naah, not really. Just pulling your leg(;

That's kind of a weird way to start of the first thing I've posted in multiple months. But, hey, does it really matter? The point is that I am posting for my grand audience to read!! Every last one of you! And if you're reading this, then that includes you!

You should feel special.

Considering I am writing this just for you. It's almost personalized. Someday, my name will be famous, and you'll remember reading this inconsequential blog post and think to yourself, my gosh. A famous person has almost wrote me a blog post. Almost.

And then you will feel all happy about yourself and your life will be complete.

The end.

Heh heh. Just kidding. This isn't personalized at all. I don't even know your name! Well, I'm using words like "your" and "you" so I guess you could consider this personal... If it makes you feel better, this is completely personal. You are my best friend and I love you. I couldn't live without you.

Better??

Thought so.

Soo I don't really know where to go from here.. Soo random paragraphs of a story I have never written nor will ever do so!!

Kallica sat on the cold stone ground, so hard against her bottom. She was propped up against the wall that looked and felt exactly like the floor. After six weeks, her pained body had become accustomed to the hardness of it all. It had been such a long time--even before she had been caged here, caged like an animal--since she had felt anything soft. The rag her captors had given here, claiming it was a blanket, was scratchy and so torn it's only use could be rags.
And it wouldn't be so good at that either.
This place had become more appalling by every passing moment. Kallica was sick of the boring gray surrounding her, the heavy chains attaching her to the wall and that chaffed her wrists and ankles. She was tired of looking forward and seeing only the black bars of her prison. She wanted so badly to be outside in the open air, moving stealthily among the trees of forests as she had used to do so often. When she got out of this place--and she would, eventually, get out, she knew she had to do or she would find a way to kill herself--she knew she would never again take for granted moving about and being able to step outside for fresh air.
She missed moving so much, but it was much too hard here. When she had first come, she had paced near the bars. She could walk exactly seven steps forward, measured small by the chains attaching her ankles together, before she had to stop about a foot before the bars. She couldn't even move her hands forward to grab the bars. Her wrists were chained to the wall behind her. She could walk five measured steps until her chains stopped her, a few inches in front of the brick wall. She could turn and walk five more steps to the other side.
For the first two weeks, that's all she had done. Five steps to the right. Turn. Five steps to the left. Turn. Five steps to the right. Her guards had walked past and laughed at her pacing. She had spit at them, but the distance was too far and it had landed just outside of her cage. She hated them so much for their endless torment.
She sat there, her back pressed against the wall, and she cursed everything. Her captors for bringing her here, the guards for keeping her here, herself for getting herself into this situation to begin with. She even went so far as to curse her parents for giving her life.
She wanted to die, but couldn't figure out how.
They forced food and water into her. They cleaned away her waste. They did not take care of anything besides that. It was all just enough to keep her alive and give her nothing to commit suicide with. She was unwashed, disgusting and filthy. She had long since lost the urge to even reach up and push the oily, disgusting hair from her face, let alone get up and keep pacing.
It was through those oily strands of hair that Kallica saw it. It was something so out of place, she was sure she was hallucinating. There in all the gray and dirt and grime, there was a red rose.
It was growing straight up out of the stone ground, it's stem so green and the petals so red that it seemed too unreal. Those two simple colors seemed almost to blind Kallica. She had to wonder how she had not noticed the beautiful flower before.
In her mind, she was brought back to a place. The present and the past stitched all together in a whirlwind of emotions and senses. She was suddenly happy and young, pain free and without a worry in the world. She was full of life and ready to live, not at all ready to give up.
When Kallica closed her eyes, letting her emotions envelope her, she found herself in a plush green garden. There was a quaint log home behind her with a little porch overlooking the square of green grass that was so wonderfully soft under Kallica's bare feet. Hummingbirds buzzed up to feeders and bees flitted around all kinds of flowers. Any kind of color or flower you could imagine was here! It was so bright, so full of life, so beautiful, and the smell.. It was so wonderfully overwhelming.
But the flower that stood out the most, smell the most beautifully and popped among all the other flowers, was the red roses.
They stood there, all regal and important looking, on their bush. They put the rest of the flower garden to shame with their brightness and beauty. The way they simply overwhelmed everything else always impressed Kallica. It didn't matter what was happening anywhere else in the garden, the red rose always stood out.
Of course Kallica knew right where she was by all the flowers and the inviting home. It was her grandmother's house. She had spent so much time there as a child, playing in the garden and in the creek that ran through the forest just beyond the house. She had always loved it here, but she had loved the red roses the most.
"Now Kally," her grandmother had once said as they tended the rosebushes together. "There is something you must understand about roses. They are fragile things." She had touched one of the roses in just the right spot and it had fallen apart in her hand, the petals just fell apart from each other. Kallica had gasped, sudden sadness gripping her over the loss of such a beautiful flower.
"They must be cared for just right," she had continued in her gentle, grandmotherly voice. "Not too much water ever, and just the right fertilizer. If you want the most beautiful roses, you must give the bush--the base of the whole plant--just the right food so that it can be strong. The stronger the bush, the more roses it can hold.
"In this way, a rose is like life." Kallica had looked at her as if she had grown a second head. How could a rose be like life? "You don't understand that, do you now?" She had shook her head while her grandmother just chuckled a bit to herself. "A rose is a beautiful thing, just as life is. But a rose doesn't just happen, first you need that strong plant. In life, a rose would be the reward after a journey full of hard work. So first you need a strong foundation. You must work hard and give yourself all the right things so that you can be strong. Once you are strong enough to handle life, you'll find the thorns.
"Now thorns are no fun thing to deal with. They prick you and hurt you. But remember how strong you have become? You can handle that bit of pain, but you must remember that! If you loose site of how strong you are, all will be for naught and you will not get the roses. Just like if you gave up on a rosebush the first time you were pricked with a thorn. You would never get the beauty of the whole thing.
"Once you toil through the pain, you finally get to the end. The rose. Your reward. You will never be able to get the rose without hard work and some pain, and sometimes it will be harder than others. But you must always stay strong and work through the pain, because beauty always lies on the other side."
Her grandmother had spoken those words to her when Kallica was ten. It had been her last visit to her grandmother's house. Her parents had died three months later in a car accident. She'd been thrown into the foster care system, her grandma deemed "unfit to care for children". She had run away from home after home, working hard to get away. When she was thirteen, she found her way back to her grandmother's house, only to find she had died a month earlier.
Kallica had walked into her garden and found it overgrown. She fell to her knees, remorse overwhelming her. The place she had loved the most was destroyed. Her flowers had been over taken by weeds, except one rosebush. The bush had stayed strong and on it was a single rosebud. Kallica had gone up, touched it, smelled it. She had felt the rose's will to stay alive. She had felt it's power and determination. She knew at that moment what her grandmother had been saying, although she hadn't completely understood before.
The bush was strong, it had made it through. It had outlasted the other plants and was fighting the weeds, and winning so far. Kallica had almost fallen into tears for the first time since her parents had died, since she had hardened herself to emotion and had dedicated her life to running.
The police had pulled up at that moment, coming in the yard. She had run, after one last glance at the strong rose. That had been the first time she had run from the police, and it wouldn't be the last.
Later, as she settled down in the familiar woods from her past for the night, she had remembered the rose. She vowed to herself at that moment that she would be like the rose and stay strong. She would fight to survive, even if it meant pain and despair. She would conquer and continue.
She would survive.
And now, so many years later in a stone prison, Kallica remembered the promise she had made to herself. A wave of determination surged through her as she opened her eyes to the gray. The rose was gone, but other roses burned in her memory, pushing her forward. She pushed herself to her feet, moving for the first time in days. Her body creaked and groaned in protest, but she persisted. She pushed her hair from her face and stood tall. She walked those measured steps as far as she could and she paced.
Because she would be strong. She would fight this cage.
She would fight and she would win.

I Bet There Are Like a Million People Reading This

Right?

I bet there are!

Ha ha. No. Like two at most.

Or none.. Yeah, probably none.

I'm cool with that.

Not like I post a ton.

I have reasons! I've been showing (lambs, horses, or like whatever) every weekend for the past few months and I'm wrapping up my final year of middle school! So close.. yet so far...

So keep smiling because summer is almost here(:
~ Jessica

The Undeniable Truth...

Let's just say that there is one honest truth on this planet and it is that I have only ever finished one story that is not school related.

Okay so maybe not the only truth, but a truth nonetheless.

There, I have blogged.

Adios! Smile on! :D
~ Jessica <3

You Broke it, Stop Expecting Me To Fix It!

This is to you, friend who does not read my blog and never will and lives out in internet land,

GIVE IT UP!

I AM SO SICK OF THIS!!

Okay. So that was a little dramatic. But really... I'd like to vent. And I am tactfully telling her the truth, remember in the last post?? I'm attempting to use tact.

And I know she doesn't read this, so in the meantime I will scream it out on my blog. Which has a total reader number of: 0.

So you're not even reading this... Funny how that works, huh?

To this person..

Shall we start with your choice in guys?? You keep complaining about a "broken heart" when you would be dead if you really had a broken heart so shut the heck up! You don't know what pain is! You have lived a comfy little life with everyone waiting on you hand and foot. You think you are things that you most definitely are NOT. You are a girly little spoiled.. Well okay. Yeah. You are not who you think you are. I know you. I know this. You say these things to everyone but you just aren't!

I started with guys so let's keep going on this... You say you love a guy and then you two have a fight and you keep expecting me to fix everything. I am your cornerstone, I am you only support, I am it. Aren't I? You want me to fix you and to fix this problem and to fix your future. Well I am perfectly glad to be there and help, but I can't help you if you aren't willing to help yourself.

That's the honest to God truth and you know it.

I am so sick of you abusing the word "love". You don't love him, you like him. Get it straight. If you loved him, you'd love him forever... Not just a few months and then be over it and straight onto the next guy. Oh yes and you keep tormenting the old guy even though YOU are the one who screwed it up. You are the one who ruined everything yet you act like he is the one who did it.

Get. Over. Yourself.

You are a lying little spoiled brat who's full of herself and can't appreciate what she has.

Just sayin'.

So sorry my posts have been so depressing lately.. Not that you're reading this.. Guess I just need to scream in a quiet place..

Always smile, m'dears, even when you want to tell someone that ^^ (:
~Jessica <3

I've Started Noticing my Friends

That title is not complete truth. I have always been aware of my friends' existences and have been actively involved in most of their lives, but recently I have begun to notice connections in my friends. Like similarities. Soo I shall list a few of them:

 - Very few of them are my age, most are older or younger.

 - Almost all of them are Christian.

 - Most of  the time they're mature, especially for our age--or their age if they're older/younger than me. Emphasis on "most of the time".

 - Most of them are academically advanced.

 - Most of them enjoy writing--whether they're good or not and whether they know they are good or not lol--and reading.

And the final realization...

 - Most of them are guys.

I am a teenage girl. I am not "eye candy". Not really anywhere close. Let me give you a brief description of myself:

 - 5'3"

 - Two feet of blonde hair

 - Green eyes, although they change shades

 - Light freckles

 - Straight teeth after over a year in braces

I guess I have a good figure, I'm like 120 lbs, I'm not outstanding appearing in anyway... I think I am rather ugly, really. Maybe I'll post a pic for you guys..? I don't know, anyhoo, this is why I do not understand why I have so many guy friends.

I am not even a nice person.

I do not know how I have friends of either gender.

I. Am. Not. Nice.

I. Do. Not. Like. People.

True story! I don't like people! So many people are so self absorbed and stupid and mean that I do not see the reason for liking people! I do like some people, like my friends, and I suck it up and smile when I'm around the people I don't like--and there are plenty of those--but in the end I will tell you what I think of you. Sometimes I am tactful about it and feed it to you in small portions, but other times I get pushed over the edge and end up just biting your head off.

In the end, you'll know what I think of you.

And that is why I do not understand how I have so many friends! I am brutally honest. Painfully, brutally honest. I actually don't think I have that many friends--I certainly don't have a lot of people who really know me--but I am informed that I do. They count my facebook friends. *runs to check Facebook* And I only have 422! Yeah I know all of them, but it's not like they really know me.

They know that I'm brutally honest.

That's kind of about it.

Anyway, this was a really rambling post but I have posted in a long time so there ya go. Now you know about my friends and how I am honest. There ya go.

Smile, m'dears, you might hate everyone around you but there always is a reason to smile(:

 ~ Jessica

Cassandra is a Meany Poo Face!

Cassandra Bloom is making me write this.

She is forcing me.

She has a knife to my neck through text messages in the form of offering to write more on my favorite story of hers. It's like a knife. I don't do it and I don't get anymore of the story. It's unfair!

Therefore, Cassandra is a meany poo face.

So I shall talk about her and my writing since there is nothing else to write about... Cassandra is the next big sensation. She's good. But she doesn't believe me. No matter how many people tell her she is amazing, she does not believe us. Her characters... They're real. Her writing is descriptive and captivating, drawing you in with every word, like an ocean current.

My favorite story of hers is currently Unnamed, it doesn't have a name so that is what we refer to it as lol, and that is the one that is like a knife to my neck right now. She even put a character in it for me ^.^ It has a depth to it, and underlying sense of true feeling. I love it. She needs to finish it.

She calls that story childish, but if that is childish than my writing is like prenatal-ish. I don't even LIKE my writing. Like, at all. I hate it really. The only reason I keep writing is because I enjoy it and people ask me to. I think they read my stories out of pity, though. I don't think there could be any other reason.

So there ya go, a blog post.

Smile on m'dears! :D
~Jessica (:

Music is an Amazing Thing

Sometimes the world is on your shoulders, weighing you down, and there is not one darn thing you can do about it. Yeah, it sucks. A lot. Like terribly. We've all had those moments, though, so I really shouldn't need to explain to you the pressure and horribleness of those phases.

There are a few things that get me through this times: Writing, my amazing friends, Jesus and music. I find that talking to my friends and Jesus help me realize where I am going wrong and where I can fix things, and writing helps me organize my feelings, but music is my escape. 

The rise, the fall, the suspense... It all comes together, drawing me toward it so enticingly I can't resist it. I find myself lost in it's warm embrace, letting it carry me away into a land where I am no one and know nothing. I close my eyes and suddenly I'm not me anymore.

I'm the strings on a guitar, the keys on a piano, the bow for a violin... Whatever you can think of, I'm there, I'm it. I'm the instrument, the singers voice, everything about the music invades me and carries me away. I'm no longer struggling to breathe under the weight of the world, instead I'm thin air. So free and weightless, it's so amazing to be free even it is just for a moment.

Gosh I love music <3

The AWARD!

What would you know?! I just won a blogging award! Thank you to the beautiful Miss. Cassandra Bloom! Thank you so much! The pride is too much! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Ok, calm down, calm down... Seriously, please, stop clapping. I have a thank you speech to give, people! Fine, whatever, thanks Cassandra, my family and my friends. And the two people who follow me. Thanks people. Whatever, clap ok. Thanks bye.

Haha ok seriously, thanks to Ms. Cassandra and thank you for reading this. I would appreciate it if you'd follow me and if you do, then I will definitely check out your blog ^.^

It's beautiful, is it not?

RULES (from the creator): If you are awarded the Paperclip Award, you must answer the 13 prompts given, and then you must give the award to 13 bloggers (although, as the creator of the award, I’m giving you permission to give it to less, or more, and bend the rules a little) and give a link to their blogs. Also, no awarding the blogger who awarded you! Got that?
1. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Oh at one point I think I wanted to be a professional horse rider... But for the past several years it's been  a best selling writer. 2. What is your ultimate favorite place to be?
Hmm... Toughy. Well I personally like it when it's a bit rainy and cold outside, so I can cuddle up in a recliner with a good book or my laptop to write and a nice big cup of hot chocolate. I've been officially banned from coffee. Thanks, like I needed that one!3. Name one famous person who inspires you. (Just one!!!)
Just one...? Probably Christopher Paolini, because of his success in writing and he started published his first book when he was 16 which went best seller about a year and a half later. Definitely an inspiration. 4. Tea or Coffee?
Coffee. But I'm banned. Stupid caffeine.5. If you could be any other person for 48 hours, who would you be?
My dog. He has it easy.6. What is your earliest memory?
Hmm... Probably walking around on cement blocks in front of our old house when I was three, as my parents were packing the travel trailer so we could move. 7. If you could ask anyone in the world, living or dead, anything, who would you ask, and what would you ask them?
I'd ask Jesus to sign my bible.
8. What is the scariest thing you have ever done?
Gone in for surgery. 9. What is your favorite book?
Hmm well I have several lol, see two posts ago.. Two posts, right?? Yeah, two posts.. I think...
10. Briefly explain one of the weirdest dreams you have ever had.
Weirdest?? I can't remember weird... But when I was younger I had a nightmare again and again I had a nightmare that a big huge bat came into my room and was dragging me away. I tried to scream, but couldn't, then my mom came into the hallway but she couldn't see my and she just called my name. Then the bat flew me out to two men who took me to a bar and drowned me in front of a whole bunch of drunk people in a barrel. Yeah. That was fun.
11. What one song best describes you? (Feel free to post a link to a Youtube vid)
Secrets by OneRepublic12. Pen or pencil?
Pen!
13. Is 13 an unlucky number or not?
I don't give a crap.

Ok so now I get to like give people the award...? But I don't know a lot of bloggers.... So um yeah here are a few!

1. Cassandra Bloom: I give it back to you! lol you got me hooked on blogging and are one of my bestest friends. Te amo! Hahaha you don't have to answer the questions again though :P

2. Paperclip Girl: I haven't known you very long, and you did start this, but I'm still going to give it to you! Super sweet girl!

3. Ashton Phoenix: I've known you for a bit, so I give this to you! lol

So yeah that's really it... And if you really feel the need to take this.. Then yeah I guess you can xD

I Miss You

No, you don't know I'm talking to you. And if you have an inkling that I might be talking to you, then I'm probably not.

Point being, I miss you. I miss you a lot. I miss the way we used to talk. I miss the way we used to laugh and have fun. I miss your friendship. I miss the way I could always count on you. I miss you.

Just so you know, you've grown annoying. I miss what we used to be. I miss it all. I miss it a lot. I miss you.

K thanks bye.

Need Something New to Read??

Then you've come to the right place! See, as it happens, I am a book fanatic. I must admit I have not read the Twilight saga or the Harry Potter series (well, I've read the first three but I'll talk about that in a minute...). This is simply a personal choice. I have never had any desire to read Twilight, the movies suck and the glimpse at the first book that I did take completely disgusted me. Do not ask me to read them... I won't. As for the Harry Potter series... Well, their very well written--I did read the first three books, but you know that ;), and I've seen all the movies--I mean, really super entertaining, and the movies are definitely put together very well. But I don't like the magic. I read about magic all the time, fantasy is by far my favorite genre, but this is real witch craft and I don't like it. I know people who have gone wiccan over the HP books.

Soo moving on to that list. As I like organizing things, I am going to group them in shorter books and longer books. So here goes:

SHORTER (About 300 - 400 pages)

Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins) - We all knew this would be first. The three books (Hunger Games, Catching Fire and Mockingjay), all of them about 400 pages, are some of the best books I've ever read. Definitely contenders for my #1 favorite series. They are riveting, exciting, the characters are real... And lots of twists. I'm a fan of twists. I must admit that I was a doubter before I read them. I thought they would be stupid, but I couldn't be more wrong. Description: A girl has to fight in the Hunger Games, where she either kills or gets killed. There can only be one victor, she must choose between love and her life.

Heir Apparent (Vivian Vande Velde) - One of my all time favorite books. I've read it at least a dozen times. If I have nothing to read, I'll just pick it up and read it. I never get tired of it. Description: A girl gets caught up in a virtual world, normally just a game, where she has to either win the game or loose her life.

Need (Carrie Jones) - Another all time favorite, along with the other books in the series Captivate and Entice. The fourth and final book is to be released later this year. Description: A girl is roughly thrown into the world of pixies and weres (shape shifters) after the death of her step-dad.

Books of Ember (Jeanne DuPrau) - I've read the three books (Prophet of Yonwood, City of Ember and the People of Sparks) a few times. Their entertaining, not my favorite but not a boring read. Description: An image of the world in the future, what it'll be like and how we'll survive.

Fairest (Gail Carson Levine) - Another book like Heir Apparent, these are my two favorite books to re-read and re-read when there is nothing new to read. In fact, I love all GCL's books. Most of them are short and sweet and fun to read. Description: An ugly maiden tries to find beauty and finds her life in danger along the way.

Thief Lord (Cornelia Funke) - So entertaining! I love it! This is one of Funke's best, along with the Ink trilogy--but I'll get to that later, it's riveting. Description: A band of thieves in Venice trying to survive, but their leader has his own secrets.

The Series of Unfortunate Events (Lemony Snickett) - I've read the entire series and it's fantastic! I love how the author throws in how he was searching for this as if it were real. Love reading the hints for the next book after the story. You have to read them in order though, if you don't them they will not make sense at all lol. Description: The Baudelaire orphans have to conquer all odds to survive after their parents are killed in a house fire.

The Wish (Gail Carson Levine) - Like I said, all her stories are fun to read, she does spin offs of old fairy tales mostly, but this is one of her original books and I love it! Very fun to read! Description: A teenager makes a wish to be popular, but it backfires with unforeseen difficulties.

LONGER (Well.. Their longer :P)

Inheritance Series (Christopher Paolini)- #1 favorite series of all times. Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr and Inheritance. Of course, the Hunger Games is really giving it a run for it's money. Definitely a tie now. But beyond that, nothing has ever come close. It's exciting, riveting, unexpected, amazing. The last two books are the best, but you have to read the first two in order to understand them at all. They only break for a few days to a week or two in between the books. Description: A teenage boy finds a strange rock that turns out to be a dragon eggs, he becomes the only rider besides the evil king and must face him.
(^^ The movie for Eragon is stupid, don't watch it, the books are better.)

Ink Trilogy (Cornelia Funke) - Inkheart, Inkspell and Inkdeath. This is another really good series that I'd highly recommend. I go back and read them all the time, I love them. The mix between drama, love and action is exquisite. Description: A father and his daughter are gifted with the ability to literally bring things out of the books they read aloud, unfortunately something has to go back in to replace what comes out. They bring characters into our world from a book.
(^^ The movie for Inkheart is stupid, don't watch it, the books are better.)

The Infernal Devices (Cassandra Clare) - Two books so far: Clockwork Angel and Clockwork Prince. To tell you the truth I haven't read Clockwork Prince but I have read Clockwork Angel and I am getting into CP once I finish the series I'm on. CA was amazing and I'm sure CP will be just as good. Katniss from the Hunger Games is up against Tessa, from the Infernal Devices, for the YA Fiction Heroine for 2012! Not sure who to vote for yet... Description: A girl finds herself thrown into the world of make believe characters, or what she thought was make believe, to try and find her brother.
(^^ It's companion series, the Mortal Instruments, is also supposed to be really good.)

The Trickster's Series (Tamora Pierce) - Tricksters Choice and Tricksters Queen are some of the most amazing books I read. Pierce really did it with these. I want to read it's companion series, the Song of the Lioness quartet, soon. Description: Daughter of the first Lady Knight is kidnapped and sold into slavery in an enemy country.

So there you go, a whole bunch of books for you to read!
~Jessica <3

Addiction... It Hurts

Yes, I'm an addict. I am addicted to...

The Hunger Games series!

Like oh my gosh you have no idea! I am going insane over these books! I've been listening to "Girl on Fire" (by Arshad) all day and am about to freak out waiting for the movie! Of course, I can't see it opening day so it's like another week or two for me :(

But I am still totally addicted and it does hurt... Because I just can't get enough.

And I really want a guy like Peeta but ya know that's different story ;)

So it's Like Snowing.. And Stuff

Like the teenage title?? Yeah it's like cool, huh??

That's not actually how I talk, ya know..

So let's start from the beginning: It is currently 10:41 am and it has been snowing since 6. I am in a cold, white, wet heaven. I have been waiting for a snow like this all year. It's like 3 inches deep in the deepest spots. I'm really excited because it hasn't stopped snowing at all since I woke up this morning at 6. But I said that :P So even now as it approached noon, the sun hasn't burned off the clouds and it's still going strong. Well the flakes are small, but it's steady. Sometimes getting bigger and faster and heavier, but steady! lol

So this is basically how my morning went down:

6 am, my lovely dog, Dan, is my alarm clock. At this time he demands to be let out so that he can pee to his hearts content. If I don't get up and let him out, he pees on my stuff. So I let him out. But this morning was a little different because I was up so late last night. I was rolling around, trying to ignore his insistent whining. But when I saw the little bit of white through my window, where my blinds had slipped away, I was up in a flash. I let him out and stayed up all morning, not going back to sleep like I normally would, watching it snow. I woke up my friends up with a text that exclaimed, "Snowsnowsnowsnowsnow!" Except for some of them, who, for some strange, bizarre reason, where already awake.

Yeah... I was pretty much excited...

A little before 8, the sun started peeking through the clouds. I basically went berserk. This happened earlier this year: It snowed, getting our hopes up, but the stupid sun came out and melted it all before 9. I basically pummeled the sun back behind the clouds where it's stayed ever since. Even now, as it's 11:16 now, (hey I have other stuff going on besides writing on this blog) it's still there. Although the snow has stopped :( Praying it starts back up again.

Still praying as I have been all morning, for the sun to stay hidden and for it to snow. Come back snow come back!

Other then that... It's been school. A little writing, as I'm deftly trudging through this story I'm writing. It's a little harder to write since I'm using a different writing style, but I'm making it. I have people nit picking it for me. Everything, down to my word choice, is being critiqued. And I'm only like 6 pages in.

And I'm still struggling with not getting to talk to Cassandra all the time. To go from talking nonstop 24-7 to only being able to talk for a few hours in the late afternoon to early evening is about killing me. I feel alone now :/ I go to talk to somebody and she's not there. I know there are other people to talk to and I do talk to them, I love my other friends, but everyone of them is different and they hold me up in different ways and areas and one of those supports was just ripped away. It's a little hard.

I know, I'm being totally selfish. And I would go back over the whole "smile because it's going to get better" thing, but I think Cassandra would pummel me if I forced that down her throat again lol. Just now I miss you and love you, girl!

11:23 it's snowing again!

The praying worked!

So I think that's it... Well, considering I'm doing other things as I type this periodically, I could probably keep you up to date if it's snowing or not all day, but I think I'm going to make myself stop and let you go(:

Don't frown because you never know who's falling in love with your smile...(:
~Jessica

OH! And Happy Leap Year! Can't believe I forgot that lol

Just Another Step in the Process

What a week.

And it's only Tuesday!

One of my best friends left the school I go to and it's definitely sad :( Ms. Cassandra Bloom I do miss you lots! I miss not talk to you all day every day! I hate that I can't go to you with all my problems now! I hate that your shoulder is no longer there for me to lean on!

But I know this all totally selfish, even more so because it's more hard on you then me--I mean you're the one switching schools, but it's true: I do miss you tons! Especially since we only had one day to say good bye :( At least we still have texting and email...

We have to keep looking on the bright side, right? I mean, it's a new school, a new beginning! It's a place full of adventures just waiting to be had. And girl you're the one to have them! That place is yours for the taking! So go in there and show 'em what you're made of! Just because you're the 'new girl' doesn't mean you have to act like the one! Own it. Live it. Love it.

The world is your oyster... You're foot stool... It's yours for the taking! So take it, take it run! Have fun with it! Don't let anyone hold you back! Love everyone and love yourself, love the life you live and live it like Jesus! Don't get upset or angry just because things aren't working out like you plan. Smell the roses on the detour! You're still getting where you want to get ;)

Sit next to the person alone at lunch, be kind to everyone, be yourself--because, let's face it, you're amazing--and you might just save someone. There are like seven billion people in the world, never let one ruin your day. God made you an original, don't die a copy!

One last thing: It's your life, don't let someone else live it.

Have fun and be yourself(:

And all us at Connections still love you lots no matter what school you go to(:
~Jessica <3

Drum Roll Please!

I finally got to meet the beautiful Cassandra Bloom!! Yaaay! I know, it was actually on friday but hey I've been busy! :P We basically hung out at BK for a while, 'twas fun! I doodled, as much as I can doodle because - let's face it - I'm a terrible artist :P, on her paper thing and she for some reason decided she wanted to put it on her wall.. o.O Lol I don't know if she did or not, but it does have reminders on it for her to keep writing so yeah lol

I'm so happy I met her through some random connection of friends that I found through some random places that I honestly can't remember because some of the friendships just came together becuase of... Well I can't really remember... Lol but I'm so happy that the random connections of friends occurred becuase she moi amazing! And super duper beautiful!! Don't let her tell you that she is not beautiful becuase she totally is!! Way prettier then me!! Don't let her believe anything else!! ;)

I'm so happy she's one of my super duper amazing besties ^.^

Let's see, what else happened this busy weekend... Well, since Friday, I've looked at three different breeder's baby piggies, I'm going to be getting a few next months. In the beginning of March I get lambs and well I already have my horses lol. Saturday I spent the day in animal classes, learning over and over again things I already knew. And Sunday was more animal stuff and chuuurch! I love my youth group ^.^

It was pretty much an exhausting weekend. But I did get to start a new story!

So what's new... Hmm...

Well, tomorrow, friday, I am getting to meet one my bestests friends, for the first time in real life! Don't worry, I know she's not a perv :P Where we met, it's impossible to lie about your age. Also, I know people who have met her in real life. So exciting!! Can't wait!

She also might get to spent a few days, maybe a week o.O, at my house this summer, so yay! I am so excited!!

... She Died ...

There's a girl.

Her name was Ashley.

She was my age.

She died.

Two days ago.

At a party.

Trying to get a high.

From sniffing compressed air.

It's a little unreal.

I knew her.

Not really, but a little.

Mostly through my friend's Facebooks.

Talking on their statuses and crap.

It's hard to think that she's dead.

Mostly that someone my age is really gone from this world. It happens all the time, I know, all over the world. But when it's someone who lives 20 minutes from you?? This crap just got real.

Everyone is wearing purple for her today. They're making shirts and posting on her Facebook wall. It's so hard to see them all so sad for her. They're my friends and it hurts to know that they're hurting.

It's hard to see what everyone is saying about her. They all loved her, but did she know it?? They're all saying it now, but it's a little late don't you think?? I guess I'm a little ticked, too.

No, not at them for not saying it earlier. No, not at God for taking her. But at myself.

Yeah, I'm pretty much mad at myself.

She wasn't a Christian. That much was obvious. We didn't talk religion on statuses, but she wasn't living for God, that's for sure. I could've been there to talk to her about it. I could've shown her God's love. But I didn't. I did not go out of my way to make sure she knew about Him. Why did I do that??

I wasn't her friend. I wasn't close to her. She had other people around her who knew God, why did I have to be the one to witness?? But I should've. I should have made sure she knew. But now she's dead and it's too late for ANY of that.

It's too late.

Everyone is saying that she'll live on in their hearts. That's true. They say they'll see her in Heaven. But I don't know if that's true! That's just it! What if they don't see her there?? What if she never knew?? What if she wasn't able to give her life to Him?? What if she never knew??

She died in a hospital bed because of a bubble in her brain.

Doctors and nurses were the only people around here.

In her last moments, I wonder what she thought...

Bored...Read This!

The Prologue to the story I'm currently working on(:

Prologue

The man was terrifying, tall and strong and the best warrior you’d ever seen. He swung his sword around and around and it clashed with the other man’s. Sparks flew, metal clanged, swear words flew through the air quick as the swords. Their grace was deadly, the way they swung their swords, the way their feet stepped so precisely. The two men danced a dark, deadly dance around the hall.

From the door, a woman watched. She was strikingly beautiful, noble with full auburn hair. Her distinguished features were clouded with concern as she watched the two men battle. This is what she had feared. She knew how this had to end. She did not fear that ending for herself, but she feared for those around her.

She swept away from the door, running quickly down the stone hall. She pulled up her silk skirts, freeing her movement. As she ran down the halls, she saw some servants hiding behind curtains and under tables. Most of them had run, though, when the horrible man had arrived. The poor cowards, she thought sourly.

She found who she was looking for in a room not far from the hall. A young girl, only sixteen, was huddled in the corner. She was terrified, but wasn’t everyone?

“We don’t have much time, you have to leave,” The woman said, pulling the girl to her feet. She looked the girl over and, with a rueful smile, gave her one last hug. “You must go now.”

“I won’t leave you.” Even though the girl’s eyes were full of fear, she stood tall and defiantly. She’s so brave, thought the woman proudly.

“You have everything that I gave you packed, correct?” She asked.

“Yes ma’am, but—“

“No, do not speak. You have to leave now, time is short.” Her voice was becoming frenzied. There was yelling now, she could hear it. The battle was louder then ever. There was less time then she had hoped for. She knows everything, she is prepared enough, the woman told herself. Stop worrying.

“No, I won’t. I’ll stay with you.”

“We don’t have time for this.” The woman grabbed the girl’s arm and dragged her through the corridors. As they ran up to the hall’s door, the girl pulled her arm free as she saw the two men fighting. Her eyes were wide as she was one man fall, the terrifying man raised his sword and brought in down in one final, lethal swing, it hit the man in the gut. He went limp, gasping for air. He would not survive.

The girl cried out and the man looked towards them.

“Well, well, the little bird hasn’t flown away after all,” He said, his sinister voice mocking her. He began to advance to the two women standing in the door. The older woman jumped in front of the girl. There were tears in her eyes, but she stood tall.

“Leave us, Carlen, and never come back,” She said defiantly.

“I don’t think I will…” He smiled devilishly. He pointed his sword at the woman, out of nowhere she reached into her skirts and pulled out a long slender sword. The two swords collided. The girl slipped out of behind the woman and ran towards the dieing man. She knelt beside him.

“No, no,” She whispered, holding his head in her lap.

“We… We knew this day would come,” He said, coughing up blood. His voice was hoarse and full of pain; he shook with every word.

“You’ll live, it’ll all be okay,” The girl ripped her dress and pressed the fabric to the wound, her voice was cracking and tears fill her eyes. She refused to believe it, but she knew that the man would die.

He pushed the cloth away. “No, it’s too late… You know everything you need to. You can save everyone else. You are a brave girl, you can do it.”

“I need you,” She whispered.

“No, you don’t. I… I am going to die. You will have to do it by yourself.”

“I don’t want to.”

“You have to. You are brave and smart that is all you need; do not let anything stop you. You have to stop him… I love you.” He closed his eyes and took one last shaking breath.

“No… No…” The girl whispered. Behind her, there was a scream, she turned around and saw the woman on the ground, unconscious. The man turned towards her, smiling that horrible smile again. The girl gently pushed the man’s head off her lap and stood up tall.

“You certainly are a pretty one,” He said.

“How could do this?” She said, tears flowing down her cheeks, her voice cracking. “How could kill in cold blood like this?”

He walked towards her, smiling evilly. “It’s quite easy, really.” She began to back up, seeing his intent. She looked desperately around, there was no way out. All the servants had fled or were too cowardly to come; the guards were dead or captured, there was no one.

“No… Please… No…” She whispered quietly. He had reached her now. She was breathing heavily, back up against a table; he pressed himself up against her. She turned her face away. He smelled foul, his ugly face leering at her, he was chuckling under his breath. “No…” He took the hilt of his sword and hit her over the head.

She slid to the ground, slowing feeling her consciousness slipping away. She tried so hard to hang onto a thread of awareness, but it was so hard, slipping away so fast. She watched the man walk over to the woman and grab her.

Then everything went black.

What if...!

What if there was more?
What if living wasn't so painful?
What if you aren't actually living
The life you are supposed?
What if none of us really know?
What if the world just imploded?
And we were all forced to live on the inside
Stuck with each other, would we survive?
There'd be no room to get away
It's like being stuck alone but together
With everyone you've ever known
Never known, ever will know
All at once, you're there together
And you can't get away
Could you keep a secret?
Doubt it, there'd always be someone
Watching you, because, seriously
The world imploded
They'd be all chasing you
Wanting to be you, they'd freaking love you
Or they'd really hate you
Because, seriously, the world imploded!
You should be dead but you survive
I'd love everyone of those peoples
They'd all be survivors, so would you

You're a surivivor

Thank God you lived!
But what if you didn't?
What if you died when the world imploded?
What if you never thought about death?
Until it was knocking on your door..
What if you never knew?
What if you could never bring yourself
To think about anything more then tomorrow
What if you got confused?
What if you were wrong?
What if you you didn't know anything?
What if no one told you?

What if the freaking world imploded?

^^ Welcome to my head -.-

Writing.. So Tempting

You know how I said writing was my like largest passion ever?? No, you probably don't. You're probably cruising blogs and just came across this one and start reading this. That's what I do, start at the top and work my way down, which can get very confusing!

Right, back to the point, to just fill in a little bit for those who missed my first ever blog... I love writing with almost all my heart. Photography, horses, God, family and friends fill in the rest of it. So, I was just kind of cruising through some writer's blogs and Facebooks and it only ever gets me more inspired! Hearing directly from these writers I love... it's insane!!

You have no idea how spychotic I am when it comes to writing. No idea.

I am seriously a psycho about writing. Most people go back to sleep when a dream wakes them up at 2 am, but I stay up until 6 writing all about that dream. It's a wondrous, glorious, amazingly awesome feeling(: Until I realize that it's 6 and I try to get an hour of sleep but oversleep by two. Yeah... That part isn't too fun...

Right, back to the point, it's so inspiring to read these people's blogs and Facebooks! It makes me want to write all the more! Working hard on a new story now, it's..intriguing not so sure what Ms. Cassandra thinks about it :P She needs to go into more detail *hint hint to Ms. Cassandra*

So that's where I'll be(:

Ciao

A tid bit that's actually going on in my life....

Snow snow snow snow snow snow snooooowwww snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow! Glorious snow!!
And it all melted.. :(

Oh yeah and happy Valentines day!

Too Bored to do Homework

I am too bored to do my homework, so I will blog instead(:

I'm going to try to not talk about my homework, but I'll probably end up back there anyway. So don't be suprised if I somehow find myself back at scientific notation and augemented matrices. Which I really don't understand. Well, I get the scientific notation, but not the matrices.

I was just writing and made a mistake and went back and corrected it. You wouldn't have known that unless I just told you - which I did - but you want to know why? Because I corrected it. I do that a lot, correct as I go, people tell me that's bad but I didn't give a darn. I will do what I please and not be conformed by society.

I read my blog from earlier today and saw that I made a lot of spelling and grammarical mistake, you're going to have to forgive me for that one. That blog just goes to show you how carried away I can get when I'm typing something I'm really excited about. Sometimes I'm just so happy I make all kinds of mistakes, not just typing but in life. I don't think about what I say and someone gets hurt, and then I'm not happy anymore.

:(

My foot is asleep and it is painful. It's in that stage where it still feels asleep but I can actually feel it, so it's like pulsing. It kind of hurts. Actually it does hurt. Pretty bad. Oh gosh, oh gosh, the pins and needles! Owwww!!!

There's an online game I play, it's called Howrse (yeah, remember I told you I'm pretty much way into horses), there's an admin on game named Ow. And another named HOwler and BOwler, that's because it's an Owlient game. They are way into the "Ow" thing, that's why it's HOwrse. Yeah, I just pronounce it like horse. You probably did too when you were reading it in your head.

When you think, do you think in your own voice?? I do. I can think in like a man's voice for a little while, but it sounds like my fake man voice. It sounds like a mini-me is sitting up in my head and talking to me in there, which I know it isn't. It's actually just your brain, with a whole bunch of air around it. That's creepy to think about, huh? I bet you visualized it and now you're either cringing or smiling goofily.

Actually, you're probably just staring at the screen with a blank expression.

I bet that last one is right, huh? That's something you need to know about me, I'm really good at guessing things.

(I'm really not)

Can you tell I'm rambling?? I do this a lot in my head. One topic leads to another , so welcome to my head. This is how I think. I bet if you're a girl, you're following this pretty well, but if you're a guy, you might be lost in how I connected all these things. If you've actually read this far. Which you probably haven't.

You have??

You must have no life. Or be very bored. I'll just assume the latter to save you the public humiliation of me telling you that you have no life. And whatever I say is right. I am always right. Even when I am wrong, I am right. What an oxymoron.

For those of you who don't know the meaning of oxymoron, do not panic. I did not tell you that you are a moron, nor did I tell you that you have no life. I did neither of those. Don't worry. An oxymoron is... Well it's too hard to explain and requires thinking, which I don't feel like doing.

Homework requires thinking, except for English homework, and I hate homework. Especially Algebra. I really hate algebra. Especially augmented matrices. I really hate augmented matrices. Scientific notation isn't terrible, but dealing with negative exponents is plain out annoying and takes forever.

Goodness, how did I end up back at homework?? :O Oh wait, I totally called that one.

I must let you get back to... Well, doing whatever you were doing. You may be busy browsing blogs or having no life or fighting invisible ninjas. Maybe having dinner with Chuck Norris and a drink with Jackie Chan afterwards?? Well, I don't really care at this point - Wait are you still reading?? Wow - I have augemented matrices to simplify.

Adios amigos.

Why Do I Have This Blog??

There is one person who reads the blog, trust me, I know this. So why am I talking like I'm making a speech or something?? I could just post this on my Facebook so why do I continue to do this?

I guess there are just somethings you need to scream and yell but you don't want anyone to hear, so you need to scream it an a silent place. This would be my silent place. Someday when I become famous, my blog (who knows I might stop this one and start another one) may just light up like a flare and then I'll probably start another one with a fake name where I can just blow up at the world or rattle on about things, sort of like I'm doing now.

Have you ever had those instances where you needed to scream at the world in a quiet place?? Those moments of such passion, where you are so inspired by anger or joy or sadness or just anything but you don't know what to do with it??

Like when you see a flower blooming or hear a song that just hits your heart or you go out and realize just how freaking beautiful the world is?? When you find out what love truly is and you finally understand, when you meet someone knew, when you talk to that one person and you just wish you could tell them how you feel.

Gosh, I love passion.

Good and bad, it can be, but it's so inspiring it drives me crazy!!

Valentines.

"Will you be my Valentine?"

No, I won't, I'm already my bestie's Valentine((: No I am not a lesbian, we are just friends lol and decided to be each other's Valentines. More people do it then you probably think.

Anyhoo, to the point of this post.

Valentines is actually pretty pointless in a good relationship. Shouldn't a guy randomly surprise his girlfriend with flowers and chocolates and a romantic dinner or picnik or anything anyway?? I mean, really, I'd rather be spontaneously surprised with something then expect it to happen one day out of the year. And if a guy is only taking his girlfriend out for a nice dinner or getting her little things on that one day, then he seriously needs to step it up.

But girls, you are not completely out of this. You should not expect your boyfriend to take you out to the most expensive and romantic restraunt just because it's Valentines day! Did you ever think that he has to pay for gas and electric bills and food and cell phone bills and all your other dates and every gift he gets you and every neccessity of life?? Most guys don't have $200 to go blow on an expensive dinner.

All in all, it might be nice to do something nice for Valentines, but really you should be doing nice things for each other all year round. Guys should not just get things for his girl on Valentines, and girls should not expect everything on Valentines. It's just another day. "Some people call it Valentines Day, I call it Tuesday."

Have fun(:

Beginning is for Suckers... So Now I'm a Sucker

You read it right, I freely admit that I am a sucker.

Oh yeah, big time sucker right here!

Yeah, yeah, make fun and laugh all you want, but someday you're going to be called a sucker and you'll have nothing to disprove it. You will be a sucker and you will not be able to do one thing about it except wallow in your misery. Hints the reason I freely admit I am a sucker!

Boo and add a ya.

Right, back to the point.

I am sarcastic and I am not afraid to tell you what I think. Like I just told you that someday you'll be a sucker, yeah right up there, seriously I'm not afriad to tell you.

Beyond that, I am a future best-selling fiction author. Yes, you are reading the blog of a future best selling author, be proud, you probably found it before I got famous ^.^ No, seriously, writing is my dream. It, along with horses, is my passion.

Yeah, I know horsies! Pretty horsies! Sounds like I'm five, right? Well, I'm not. Most of the time. I've been riding horses since I was five, though, and I seriously ride. I gymkhana and show western, although looking into english, so you know those people you see who run patterns insanely fast and their horses are like freaking out and stuff?? Yeah, that's me.

So besides the fact that I love God, my country, my friends and my family, that's really all you need to know about me.

Have fun dearies!